Song for Ten
by Darktayle
Summary: Oneshot. After defeating the Racnoss, the Doctor gives up on seeing Rose again and instead searches for a way to remember her. On Christmas, shortly after the defeat of the Sycorax, a second Ten watches from beneath his perception filter and says goodbye.


**Song for Ten**

**Oneshot**

*** * ***

For him, it wasn't long after his first escapade with Donna, full of Thames-draining and large humanoid spiders with possibly one of the fiercest appetites in the galaxy.

Not long after he'd said goodbye to Rose.

Even now, his impressive Time Lord brains struggled enormously to find some way—_any way—_of getting Rose back with him without similarly causing intergalactic disaster. He had a _very, very_ capable brain with the better part of a millenium of experience on its side, he should be able to think of _something._

But he couldn't. He'd browsed through the technological advances of various planets and times, but there was a reason that the Time Lords were known as such, and not simply as '_another of those species who can traverse time and dimensions'._ On each of his ten outings, he'd managed nothing, and on each of his ten outings he'd ended up doing something else entirely for Rose's memory.

Here, in London on the Powell estate, he'd ended up doing no different.

It was foolish. Worse than foolish.

You don't cross your own timeline. Everyone knows that.

Rose did. After that incident with her father, she'd certainly never do it again.

Well, as much as he'd like to, it wasn't as though he'd be doing anything rash.

Just a parlour trick. Simple enough. In no way would he allow it to degenerate into something universally damaging. He'd done that sort of thing before and was quite sure that he didn't want to do it again.

So, wearing a TARDIS key emitting its usual perception filter, he walked into the Tyler apartment as they had their Christmas dinner—just that time after he'd regenerated and defeated the Sycorax.

He was there in his pyjamas—or Howard's pyjamas, at least. That guy with the satsumas and apples. Really, it was a good job that Jackie dated guys with such strange habits, or the Sycorax leader might not be as dead as he should be.

Sighing, and knowing full well that his past self would notice him perfectly easily, the Doctor withdrew a high-tech camera from his bigger-on-the-inside pockets, and snapped a few pictures of the cheerful scene, all the while feeling like a bit of a stalker for doing so.

Placing it back in his pocket, the Doctor briefly met the eyes of him-from-one-year-ago, who just as briefly paused in his laughter, and blinked at. Then he looked away as if he'd never seen himself.

No one could ever say that the Doctor wasn't a good actor.

Before he left, and almost grateful that past-Rose wouldn't be able to notice him, he looked straight at her with sad eyes, remembering and _wishing_ with a fearsome intensity that few things had ever driven him to.

There was only one person watching, discreetly, from the corner of his eye, and it was himself. It wasn't as though he was going to blab, so it hardly mattered that there were witnesses.

'_Goodbye Rose.'_ He mouthed, careful not to say her name as it would break through the perception filter with alarming ease.

And then he mouthed three more words which, if he tried hard enough, would not haunt him for years to come.

One-Year-Younger Ten's eyes widened.

And he turned, feeling uncharacteristically miserable, and stalked out to the roof where he and Rose had sat before as a false ship careened over their heads. Even as he did so, Other-Ten excused himself, and the Doctor waited.

He didn't blink as the other man approached. He merely looked at him, his mirror image.

Despite having only a year between them, he'd experienced _so much_ less than he had.

"What are you doing here?" Other-Ten questioned mildly, stopping a few metres away. "Not that I don't appreciate your presence, but the rules on crossing your timeline are _pretty_ strict."

He quirked his lips. Trust himself to cheer himself up, even if it was just a little.

The Doctor reached into his pocket and retrieved one of the newly-developed photos, distinguished by the Gallifreyan writing on the back, and handed it to his other self. "Give this to Rose. She might want it."

He took it, and turned it over, whereupon an eyebrow rose. "'Remember me'? That's certainly a strange thing to put on the back of a Christmas photo."

"Today was always one of my happier days." He allowed himself a slight smile. "A good memory."

"Fair enough." Other-Ten glanced again at the picture. "You still didn't answer my question, though. What happened?"

"You know I can't say."

"Then why come back?"

He hesitated, and handed him something else. A CD with only one song on it. "I had this commissioned. Cost me quite a bit of money, but of course I just got it from a cash-point with the sonic screwdriver. You might want to listen to it. I've already got the copy that I gave myself today."

Ten inspected the CD. "Song for Ten? What is it?"

"A tribute." He replied honestly. "I won't tell you to change anything you're doing, because that would change things. I know what I'm supposed to say because I heard it myself, one year ago. You won't understand why I'm doing it until then."

"Is this it? A song commissioned from some 21st century Earth human?" He questioned disbelievingly. "There are better things to do as a tribute, you know."

"Did them already." He shrugged easily. "I had a Memoriam done by someone in 62nd century Draylza, and other things like that. And then I got this for today, because it's something from Earth."

Ten paused contemplatively, and spoke again. "Is there anything else? I saw what you sort-of said to Rose earlier. Are you _sure_ there's nothing?" He sounded worried, and understandably so. It would be obvious, from his counterpart's actions, that something was going to go seriously wrong.

"I've tried. Trust me, I've tried to think of a way around it for the last two months." He suitably conveyed his frustration with his voice, wishing there was something else he could do. "All I can say is what I know is safe. You've got a year left, or something close to it. There's a storm coming—enjoy what you've got while it lasts."

"...Thanks." Ten frowned. "...If you can just tell me this, then. Does she live?" The sheer _weight_ he put into that question was enormous, saturated with all the concern his two Time Lord hearts could produce. He remembered that so well—it was what he'd felt himself, roughly a year ago.

And so, looking into the barely-restrained dismay of his counterpart's eyes, he grinned a grin that was just a little bit less true than it used to be.

"Yes, Doctor. _Yes she does._"

His face broke out in a similar grin, different in one key respect, and he wondered how a mere year could change things so much.

"Thanks, Doctor." He gave a mocking half-salute, which the Doctor returned with eyebrows raised.

Cheeky bugger.

Feeling for all the universe like he was leaving his hearts behind him as he did so, the Doctor walked away from who he used to be, and entered the TARDIS.

It was time to go forward, because he could never look back.

Absently, the Doctor pushed the _Song for Ten _CD into a music player and listened to the bittersweet truth of its melody fill the TARDIS as it flew.

_Well, I woke up today,_

_And the world was a restless place._

_It could have been that way for me._

_And I wandered around,_

_And I thought of your face,_

_That Christmas looking back at me._

_I wish today was just like every other day._

_'Cause today has been the best day,_

_Everything I ever dreamed._

_And I started to walk,_

_Pretty soon I will run,_

_And I'll come running back to you._

_'Cause I followed my star,_

_And that's what you are._

_I had a merry time with you._

_I wish today was just like every other day._

_Cause today has been the best day,_

_Everything I've ever dreamed._

_So have a good life,_

_You do it for me,_

_Make me so proud,_

_Like you want me to be._

_Wherever you are,_

_I'm thinking of you,_

_Oceans apart._

_I want you to know_

_..._

_Well, I woke up today,_

_And you're on the other side._

_Our time will never come again._

_But you can still dream,_

_Close your eyes, you will see_

_That you can see me now and then._

_I wish today was just like every other day._

_Cause today has been the best day,_

_Everything I ever dreamed._

_I wish today was just like every other day._

_Cause today has been the best day,_

_Everything I ever dreamed..._

_* * *_

I was inspired for this after listening to _Song for Ten _(which is an actual track in the Doctor Who soundtrack, commissioned specifically for _The Christmas Invasion_) and writing down the lyrics. I recommend trying to find it on you tube or some other such thing if you don't have the soundtrack, as it really is oddly sad despite its happy tune. Bittersweet indeed.

I hope you enjoyed this Oneshot, and again, take the time to listen to Song for Ten with the lyrics.


End file.
